Planning for a two week visit to see my family and friends in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania takes at least…… two weeks. Can you tell I’ve only flown twice in the last 3 years?
My goal this time is to look like a cosmopolitan traveler. Last two times I was a bohemian….. a freakish, bohemian gypsy. Right down to the hiking boots hanging over my shoulder. I only had three other bags hanging off me. The look was definitely pack mule.
Third time around I’m taking my newly purchased carryall rolling bag and my little black travel messenger bag. How adorable! That’s it! That’s all I need! That’s all I am taking! No more!
Except for the doghouse…..my life and welcome to it!
Okay, so it was a spur of the moment purchase. A cushiony soft zip apart dog house that is made of cute little doggy fabric and foamy innards. It has the slanted roof of a dog house and a little rounded door for my family’s two pugs to crawl through. Inside there’s room enough for both of them to snuggle up all warm and cozy.
The doghouse measures 18” by 24”. It was something I intended to send them by mail. Just get a big plastic mailer, shove the thing inside, address it and mail it off. How easy that would have been! How simple!
But no, oh, oh, oh, oh! I had to open my big old grand canyon mouth and tell my daughter, Amber what I’d bought. I’ll send it out tomorrow. You’ll get it in a week.
Then it started: Oh, Mom, how thoughtful, how sweet! Oh, wouldn’t it be great if you brought it on the plane with you. Then when you give it to Molly and Milo they’ll know it came from their very own MumMum.
Damn….damn….and damn! I relented. Okay, I’ll bring the (damn) doghouse on the plane. So now I’m thinking what do I put it in?
Sure, I can fold it down but it’s not anywhere near flat. It’s bulky! In a big old shopping bag it’ll look like I’m trying to smuggle three large pizzas onboard the plane.
Holy Mother of Pearl, carrying it over my shoulder makes me look like I have a hump! I’m a freaking Igor!
Argh! There goes my cosmopolitan image. There goes sleek and simple and understated. I’m going to look like a bohemian trying desperately to carry off a suave, sophisticated look.
The airport shuttle will stop to pick me up. I’ll be stepping up through the narrow little door only to be pulled back by the doghouse jammed in the door. I’ll smile weakly at the driver while I dislodge myself and my hump.
I’ll bumble my way up to airport security. They’ll ask for my passport. I’ll give it to them. They’ll ask if I have anything to declare.
Meekly with a sardonic little smile on my face, I’ll take the hump off my back, lay it…lovingly… on the conveyor belt with the little doggy fabric jutting out and say Doghouse!
Tin Can Annie